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Showing posts from May, 2016

My Romance...

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I was just out with the dog, bundled up against the ridiculous 35* F weather. (It was in the 80s last week. Thank you, Mr. Jet Stream.) I was thinking that this is romance for us. Seeing my husband with his lap full of bills, trying to figure out which doctors are going to get paid what this month, and taking the dog out, despite the cold and my hip/bladder/side pain, because it was the only thing I could do to help at the moment. Just like it was romance that my husband came out -in his tshirt and jeans, crazy man- to take the leash from me and make sure I was okay as soon as he realized what I had done.

Our weekend has been full of laundry, dishes, dinner with old friends, pulling a tick off the dog, watching a favorite movie (Death to Smoochy) because I was in too much pain to go to the drive in, clearance shopping, and plenty of time resting on my extra long heating pad. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a good weekend, but I was thinking about a quote I read earlier. “You have your o…

Thank you for being a friend...

Friendships are difficult for me. I'm very good at putting on a happy face and I am truly interested in getting to know people. The problem is once those initial meetings are through, my social anxiety kicks in and I struggle to reach out. I doubt people who know me casually are even aware how crippling my social anxiety gets.I am lucky to have people in my life who have known me for many years, but that adds its own layer of issues. My memory is bad, like ridiculously bad. I struggle to remember things I have done with my friends. Inside jokes we may have shared years ago mean absolutely nothing to me now. I freeze, then try to play along while I desperately search the recesses of my mind for the reference. And I know I should just tell them and sometimes I do, but it is so embarrassing.I'm not an easy person to maintain friendship with. I spend enough time on self care that I don't really have time for anything else. I lock myself away and forget to reach outside of my l…