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No 'Poo Day 5 1/2

Well, I finally washed my hair. I decided it would be better to have a wet head tonight than in the morning going to church.
I am still worried about using baking soda because my scalp can get really dry this time of year. I did some more reading and decided to try a super diluted solution of castille soap and water. I put it in a bottle and poured that basically all over my scalp. then I rubbed and rubbed my scalp. It felt awesome to wash out some of the oil and grossness. I followed that with my usual ACV mixture.

It's odd because my scalp and roots feel very clean, while the rest of my hair feels moisturized but I am concerned about it looking oily. 
Sigh... I guess I will see what it looks like in the morning! :)

No Shampoo Day4 (ish)

Regrets? I've had a few...

Remember that whole deep conditioning thing I forgot to do? They were serious about that one. Seriously.

By Wednesday afternoon, my hair was a complete rats nest underneath. I could brush it out and did a few times with my fingers before I got home to use the brush, but it was a mess moments later! So before I made dinner I took one of the bananas we had just gotten from the store (because WBH had eaten the overripe banana I had been saving for this purpose. How dare him!), mashed it, added some apple cider vinegar and honey... and (here's the regret) a touch of coconut oil.

I know, I know. Coconut oil and No Poo apparently do not mix for most people. Apparently, I am one of the most people.

I put this in the length of my hair, twisted it up, and had WBH wrap me in plastic wrap. I started our dinner of potato soup and then took a shower to rinse it out with hot water.

24 hours later my hair still looked wet. I had read that is what happened to people wh…

No Shampoo Day1

It has been a long fall and in a lot of ways I have needed to make a change. I realize dropping shampoo may seem radical or anticlimatic depending on your view, but at least it is a project and something I can do by and for myself!

I forgot to take a before photo, but basically my hair is just below my shoulder with layers. The back of my hair - basically everything from my ear back and everything but the top layer in the back - has been super curly, nearly ringlets. The hair in the front and on top is straight. I have no idea where those super curls have been coming from.

Today I used 1 part castille soap to 5 parts water as shampoo. It was nuts! I couldn't believe how stripped my hair felt. I couldn't run my fingers through it at all! And I had the dreaded waxy feel so then I was worried how hard our water is and if I was going to be stuck with wax for days.

I washed it again with the bit of castille soap water mix I had left and it was the same. I rinsed and rinsed AND rinse…

In the Midst of the Mist

I can feel the funk descending.

The best way I can describe it is like a bowl of ice cream that gets covered in thick, hot chocolate fudge; it moves fast at first, covering the ice cream, but the longer it is there, the slower it moves and the harder, thicker it gets. Only it is not a delicious bowl of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge; it's my brain covered in sludge.

I did set myself up a bit. I didn't eat lunch today. I was supposed to go home early, so I thought I would skip lunch and just have it when I got home, not thinking I would work until 3:45. I haven't exercised at all this week, even though I have been feeling good and knew I was up to it. And randomly I only took one pill instead of two as prescribed. So it was a bit of a perfect storm. I was hungry. We had to do some shopping for dinner. I have been tired all week.

But it was recoverable until I saw my grandfather's nurse. She was one of many that took care of him and take care of my grandmother still, b…

Praising in the storm...

Have you ever heard yourself saying something and think, "wait, what?" This happens to me often. Things sound perfectly rational and reasonable in my head, but as soon as I start to share them with WBH, my friends, my counselor, X-man, etc. I realize how wrong I am.

I started back to counseling last week after a short -sanctioned- hiatus. My brain has been playing tricks on me of late and I decided the best thing was to get back in to see Dr. Mr. Rogers and to my counselor (who really needs a good nickname). It's good for me to have routines in place, a plan to follow, so I can see some light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is just the next way station.

This week I hit a rougher patch in the form of my bursitis acting up again. It comes and goes intensity-wise, but driving and being unable to relax and move around make it so much worse, so you can imagine how it feels with my 45-60 minute commute to and from work. I got to my session with the to-be-nicknamed-counsel…

Metaphors

I'm terrified of killing the rabbit.

I literally have nightmares where that is the only thing that has happened. The rabbit is dead and I am terrified, so terrified that I wake up sobbing.

I know that lots of people go about this everyday. I work with them, I go to church with them, I ooh and ahh over pictures and bibs. It's a natural part of life and one most people look forward to but I just can't.

Because I have my own issues. I have my own needs. I have a mental state that I work very hard to keep balanced each day. I need my naps. I need my quiet time.

I need.

And I know that my needs would have to be maybe not my last concern but certainly down the totem pole a bit from the top. The rabbit.

There is some bit of me that still wonders if my mother would not have been quite as troubled had she never killed the rabbit, had I not come along. It makes me wonder about myself and my own abilities.

I love Youth. I love kids. I'm sure I would love and care for my own, bu…

There I've Said It

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It's the little things in life that bring the most joy. I have heard this all my life, but the longer I am married the more I know it is true. When WBH packs my lunch and adds chocolate candies to make me smile part way through my difficult day. When he cleans the toilet, though I know he doesn't even realize it is dirty, when I mention it needs cleaned but my migraine has me curled up in bed. When he doesn't seem to care that I have been so busy between work and my volunteering that I haven't done a single dish or washed any of the piles of laundry, but quietly goes about doing it a little bit at a time so we have forks and clean underwear, even though I know he doesn't like washing silverware or folding socks.

It's times like this which make me wonder what he is getting in return. How can I possibly make all these little things up to him in any small or big way? He takes care of me each and every day of my life and sometimes all I feel is a burden.

It's b…

Marching on...and on...

I am tired and my head is pounding. Completely pounding. I had my new glasses adjusted last week but they still aren't completely right. My right eye is the worst. I don't understand why this is happening.

I have the new glasses because someone -- not naming any names -- destroyed my last ones while I was in the shower getting ready to take him to the vet. He was sick and super needy because of it, his separation anxiety on overdrive. He's feeling better now, but I had to get new glasses and that meant new frames. I like the frames but apparently my eyes do not. They tried bending them to create a bit of a curve which helped but apparently it isn't quite there yet.

It's nearly 3am and I am still awake. Not good.

So here are some things that I did last month...

Book: I am working my way through a book that was given to me by a friend. It is a religious book that is part of the latest fad. I find myself frustrated as I go through it and it is taking me forever to fini…

Happy Marchocolate

I made it to Indianapolis though it was quite the mental journey to get here. I have made some decisions and am starting to slowly let people know. It's been a little rough but I know that  this is what I am supposed to be doing now. I just need to figure out what the next step is.

February went so fast. It just felt like it flew by.

Book: So basically my books of choice all month have been ridiculous romances. Really ridiculous Kindle freebies. Not much else to say about that but that they have been nice and relaxing and fun. Just what I needed with this dark and dreary month.Recipe: Adam and I made lasagna for the first time. It was delicious. Instead of mozz I made a last minute substitution of goat cheese and it was ah-mazing. Seriously amazing. Spinach, italian sausage, and a slow cooked sauce helped too. Definitely a winner!Craft: So not the best craft month ever but I did refine my wash cloth making technique. I also spent some time working on an idea I have for a series of …

Here You Come Again

If you are unfamiliar with the song Here You Come Again you should really check it out. It's a Dolly Parton classic (one of the few she didn't write). It was one of my favorite songs before I grew up and learned about battered women's (person's??) syndrome. But, as I am currently in an abusive relationship with my body's own sleep cycle, it seems fitting.

For the record, I'm the abusee, not the abuser.

I think.

4 am and I are becoming old friends. My hip aches, I have had 4 bad headaches in the last two weeks, my mind races with negativity, and I am not enjoying being a girl, if you get my drift. I lay down and all I can think about is pain. I try to relax, to meditate, but my mind begins to focus on every dumb thing I can remember doing in the last fifteen years. I pray and it leads me into feeling guilty about not praying often enough or for the people who need it (because our God is a transactional God and my specific prayers -- or lack there of -- make Him pow…

January

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So yes, I am a few days (okay, a week) late for a January post, but really that is what this is.

My dear friend Kouw is challenging herself in an interesting way in 2013. Every month she is reading a book, trying a new recipe, and making a new craft, then blogging about it all. I found this fascinating and decided to try it as well.


Book:      So this is the main reason that this post is late. It was like pulling my own teeth to finish this book. Casual Vacancy by J.K.Rowling was not a good fit for me, at least not at the moment. It was slow and while there were moments of surprise, most of it felt very formulaic. I'm not a big fan and I don't know that I would read her next book if it is in the same vein.

      Usually I can start a finish a book in a couple days (or a day if I'm not doing anything else) so I am not worried about finishing something and being able to post this month. I have no idea what I will try to read though.Recipe:       I tried several new recipes thi…