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Showing posts from August, 2016

Sometimes

One thing about depression and anxiety that so many people just do not get is this: Sometimes there is something that makes me anxious or depressed, but more often than not, there isn't. Life doesn't have to be striking me down with all it's might for me to want to hide under the covers and never come out. I don't have to be wondering if God is smiting me for me to remember everything I've ever done or said that I regret, and believe me that list is long and the guilt hits as hard as it did in the moment. The world doesn't have to seem on the verge of falling apart or falling into World War III for me to feel it falling into me, crushing me until I can barely breathe. I don't have to watch a sad movie in order to cry my eyes out in the shower.

I handed in my keys and badge last week. It has been nearly ten months since I first developed upper right quadrant pain and swelling and I haven't worked more than a few hours in all of 2016. All in all, HR was v…