In the darkness, something is coming...

It has been a long week. I started out with the best of intentions, but somehow ended up getting sidetracked anyway. It is frustrating.

I am being tempted with an offer that is nearly too good to refuse. It would be so easy to say yes, but as much as I want it, I also know that God is saying it isn't my time. I have so much going on, so much left to do.

Adam and I were talking earlier about a big decision we are in the process of making. He asked me if I thought we would ever be really ready. To be honest the answer for this decision and my offer are the same. No, there will probably never be a perfect time, but the God I serve is a God of will and purpose. He has a plan for me and all I can do is watch for his signs!

And there are signs, and he does still speak. I will listen carefully, even in the darkness.



Comments

  1. bookcrossMarch 26, 2011 at 2:28 AM

    Time and circumstances alter all the time, but your core remains the same. I have made the greatest decisions in my life with this core. So far, they turned out to be right ones. Of course this takes looking deep inside yourself and contemplation. Sometimes offers you can't refuse are there to take, because if you didn't you'd stand still. Sometimes they only seem irrefusable.
    Good luck with the choices you have to make.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMarch 26, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    My core/spirit/soul is standing strong on this. The woman making the offer is refusing to take no for an answer even to the point of questioning what I am hearing. It is complicated by my want of the job, but it is basically an unpaid part-time job and I just can't add one more thing on top right now. I know God is right about this and I have to stay strong in this. In another year I think I will be in a place to handle this.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I am fat.

I am fat. I've always been fat. Well, not counting my senior year of high school when I starved myself to fit into the prom dress I had already grown out of two months later. My weight has varied as well as my clothing size, but in many ways, when my chronic illness started, I was pretty healthy. Despite medications that encouraged weight gain, I was maintaining and even losing a little. I was working out and feeling good about myself. Then pain set in. At first, when I was still trying to work, all I did in my freetime was lie flat, try not to cry, and go to one doctor's appointment after another. Even with all the physical therapy I have completed in the last twenty-one months, I am weaker and much less healthy. And most importantly, I am not happy about it. We have been trying to eat more greens and less meat. I'm trying to cut most sugar from my diet and working on getting off the Pepsi train. Other than yesterday, I have completed a yoga youtube video everyday this wee
Read more

I'm still fat.

It's so funny to me that the last time I posted here it was on the same topic that brought me to write something four and a half years later. I'm still fat. I'm still in pain. But for the last two and a half years, I've also been a mother dealing with those first two.  The past two years have been some sort of mashup between a rollercoaster and a train wreck with parenting and the pandemic. There have been many times I thought about journaling here or in a physical journal, but to be honest, I didn't really want a record of how dark a place my mind had been. It's a struggle to know what's the right thing to do in the midst of a new and ever changing pandemic and I think parenting is always a struggle. At least, I think it always would have been for me. And that's not something I really have wanted to record for posterity, though I admit it would probably help the child's future therapist out. I started some new treatments for pain this week. After st
Read more

Saturday, NPR Day! Everybody happy? Well, I should say!

Working with the parents of youth is as much a part of my job as working with the youth themselves. I often find myself in the middle of what are essentially "water-cooler" conversations with women and men that, while I nod and smile, I can't exactly relate with... or at least I couldn't until I got married. I am up past the time I wanted to be, with a huge headache, because my husband waited until about 2 hours ago to tell me he absolutely needed work clothes washed tonight. I had to smile because I was just with a group of parents today who were discussing the beginning of the new school year and some voiced comments about a return to their children doing nearly the same thing. "Mom, I have to have a dozen cookies for tomorrow," or new clothing, or have signed their parents up for something, or, my favorite, "Mom, I am supposed to bring a volcano tomorrow." lol The point is, in someways I don't think we ever grow up. :) But that isn't m
Read more