There I've Said It

It's the little things in life that bring the most joy. I have heard this all my life, but the longer I am married the more I know it is true. When WBH packs my lunch and adds chocolate candies to make me smile part way through my difficult day. When he cleans the toilet, though I know he doesn't even realize it is dirty, when I mention it needs cleaned but my migraine has me curled up in bed. When he doesn't seem to care that I have been so busy between work and my volunteering that I haven't done a single dish or washed any of the piles of laundry, but quietly goes about doing it a little bit at a time so we have forks and clean underwear, even though I know he doesn't like washing silverware or folding socks.

It's times like this which make me wonder what he is getting in return. How can I possibly make all these little things up to him in any small or big way? He takes care of me each and every day of my life and sometimes all I feel is a burden.

It's been a long few weeks, but we are finally in a bit of a lull. Work is still crazy as we try to get the program settled, but I am beginning to see the light at the end of this long tunnel. I have one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. I am at least thinking about dishes. It will get better and I'll get back to a place of being able to manage home and work.

It just feels like it takes so little to knock me off course. Sometimes I wonder if it is just me. If there is something inherently wrong with me that makes me this way.

This wasn't supposed to be a melancholy post. I know I am very lucky. I just wish I could give something ein return.


You Keep Loving Me - Jenny & Tyler - Open Your Doors - Copyright 2011 One Eyed Cat Music (BMI)                                                 
Music and Lyrics by Jennifer Somers (BMI)
Recorded October 6th in Percy Warner Park in the mid-morning (Nashville, TN)                                                       

Sometimes I feel like a failure
There I’ve said it out loud
And I’m so afraid that I will never measure up
To what You want for me, but somehow
You keep loving me; You keep loving me

I’ve been sitting on this porch over an hour
Watching my neighbors live their distant lives
And the birds are singing songs that sound familiar
And I want to join them, but I don’t know how
Still You keep loving me; You keep loving me

And I confess sometimes I think I’m better on my own
I can handle this alone
Shows how much I know
And I can’t understand why You still woo my tired heart
Try to fill the vacant parts
Guess that’s part of who You are

'Cause You keep loving me
You keep loving me
You keep loving me
You keep loving me

Sometimes I feel like a failure
There I've said it

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