Here You Come Again

If you are unfamiliar with the song Here You Come Again you should really check it out. It's a Dolly Parton classic (one of the few she didn't write). It was one of my favorite songs before I grew up and learned about battered women's (person's??) syndrome. But, as I am currently in an abusive relationship with my body's own sleep cycle, it seems fitting.

For the record, I'm the abusee, not the abuser.

I think.

4 am and I are becoming old friends. My hip aches, I have had 4 bad headaches in the last two weeks, my mind races with negativity, and I am not enjoying being a girl, if you get my drift. I lay down and all I can think about is pain. I try to relax, to meditate, but my mind begins to focus on every dumb thing I can remember doing in the last fifteen years. I pray and it leads me into feeling guilty about not praying often enough or for the people who need it (because our God is a transactional God and my specific prayers -- or lack there of -- make Him powerless... right...).

Told you, negatives upon negatives. It needs to stop.

Location:The Couch

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