Pain

I have a headache. It's a lot better than when I woke up this morning, but it's still there. Lingering in the edges of my mind there is a bit of an ache, a bit of nausea when I close my eyes.

Pain is a funny thing. Each time I go to my pain management doctor, they prompt me with descriptive terms for my pain. This headache is slight, but achy and definitely sick. My hip is raw and deep, both words I came up with, not prompted. The description makes sense now that I know I have a tear inside of my hip. It also explains why that pain is constant. I can move when it gets stiff or heat it so I'm a bit more comfortable, but it's always there.

My abdomen is sometimes sharp, sometimes achy, sometimes both. It's better than it was before the medication and the trigger point injections, but it's still there.

My bladder is more of a burning ache. It can be sharp and sudden. It's always something different.

Pain affects more than just the part of the body it is in. My energy is low. My anxiety is high. I want to go and do things and I want to lay in bed, under the covers, and pretend that's the whole world. My depression is a thick slick of oil covering everything.

That is getting better too. As the pain eases, my mental health generally improves. I have days, but overall, it is better. It's still there, but there are some clear, clean patches too. 

I think I am getting better. I hope I am getting better. I have to get better.

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