We all have our troubles.

When asked what I want to be when I grow up, which I admit is a rare question at 34 years of age, I usually say I want to be Angela Lansbury. She has been my man crush for most of my life. I even had a picture of her as a showgirl in my high school locker, long before I knew what a man crush was. :)

But to be perfectly honest, I really want to be like my Aunt Catherine. All of my great aunts, and the one great-great aunt I knew, on my father's side were as sharp witted and blunt as they were kind. They were all take charge women and you did not want to be on their bad side because they held a grudge like no other. At the same time, they were the kindest women I knew, willing to help you in anyway they could. Sincere. And boy, did they know how to laugh.

The last thing my Aunt Catherine said to me was, "We all have our troubles." My eyes well up just remembering that. She was barely lucid, but even then she was trying to give me advice.

Adam and I were with her when she died. I spent that afternoon singing hymns and talking to her while I knitted. I told her that we would all be okay, that we would get through our troubles, that would get through mine. And then WBH came from work with a latte, which I desperately needed. I think she waited until I wasn't alone to let go. 

I've been thinking about her a lot lately. I've been making some decisions about my life and I really wish she was here to make me not take myself so seriously. It's hard to know what is right, but I do know that I'm not alone. We all have our troubles, and yet we get on with the daily task of living. So that's my goal right now. To make sure that I'm doing what I can today and letting tomorrow worry about itself. 

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